The 93 Best Quotes About Drinking (Booze)

Tammy Lamoureux from lamourfoto.com

Beer? Wine? Shots of Tequila? We don’t play favorites when it comes to booze.

So how about you pour yourself a cold one and read these damn good quotes about drinking… it’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right?

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. - Humphrey Bogart

Alcohol Rose Colored Glasses

Know thyself, especially thyself after a couple of drinks. - Robert Brault

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. - Mark Twain

I find the more I drink, the more interesting others become. - Tom Ralphs

Good people drink good beer. - Hunter S. Thompson

Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin. - P.G. Wodehouse

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink — under any circumstances. - Mark Twain

It’s just that I’d rather die of drink than of thirst.- Ian Fleming, James Bond

Age and glasses of wine should never be counted. - Italian Proverb

If I saved all the money I spent on beer, I’d spend it on beer. - Earl Dibbles Jr.

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily. - Animal House

One More Drink

Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health. - Thomas Jefferson

We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. - Charles Bukowski

There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink. - Oscar Wilde

Wine is sunlight, held together by water.- Galileo Galilei

That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen. - Charles Bukowski, Women

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Wilhelm

There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking. - Benjamin Franklin

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol. - Mignon McLaughlin

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? - Jack Handey

Alcohol Endure Life

‘I think I need a drink.’
‘Almost everybody does only they don’t know it.’ - Charles Bukowski, Women

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria. - David Auerbach

If she drinks beer, she’s a keeper. - Earl Dibbles Jr.

A man’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink. - W.C. Fields

Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I drink to make other people interesting. - George Jean Nathan

Wine and cheese are ageless companions, like aspirin and aches, or June and moon, or good people and noble ventures. - M.F.K Fisher

Drinking is another way of thinking, another way of living. It gives you two lives instead of one. - Charles Bukowski

I don’t think I’ve ever drunk champagne before breakfast before. With breakfast on several occasions, but never before before. - Breakfast at Tiffany’s

I’m gonna drink you pretty. - The Beat Farmers

I’m planning on having my favorite drink this weekend. It’s called a lot. - Unknown

Be always drunken. Nothing else matters … Drunken with what? With beer, with poetry, or with virtue, as you will. But be drunken! - Charles Baudelaire

Get Drunk Dreams

When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink. - Frantois Rabelais

I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either. - W.C. Fields

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. - Henry Lawson

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

Stay with the beer.
Beer is continuous blood.
A continuous lover. - Charles Bukowski

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy! - Warren Ellis

On some days, my head is filled with such wild and original thoughts that I can barely utter a word. On other days, the liquor store is closed. - Frank Varano

Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer. - Tom Robbins

A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure. - Czech Proverb

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it. - Raymond Chandler

There’s nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation. - John Candy

Life really comes down to two problems. You are either drinking too much or you are not drinking enough. - David Alejandro Fearnhead

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

The sacred pint alone can unbind the tongue… - James Joyce

Don’t drink to get drunk. Drink to enjoy life. - Jack Kerouac

Wine Bottled Poetry

There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne. - Bette Davis

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who’s life is giving them vodka, and have a party. - Ron White

May your drinks be stiff and your morals loose. - Unknown

Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same. - Hugh Hood

For whoever is lonely there is a tavern. - Georg Trakl

Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire. - David Rains Wallace

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness. - Seneca

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink. - Tom Waits

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. - Homer Simpson

I don’t like the word ‘alcoholic’. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. - Chelsea Handler

Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it. - Ray Bradbury

It’s always difficult to make conversation with a drunk, and there’s no denying it, the sober are at a disadvantage with him. - W. Somerset Maugham

I don’t think I’ve drunk enough beer to understand that. - Terry Pratchett

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me. - Hunter S. Thompson

I’ve stopped drinking, but only when I’m asleep. - George Best

Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness. - William Shakespeare

Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together! - W.C. Fields

I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike. - Sylvia Plath

Where ever I go, there I am. Drunk. - Rita E. Torres

Work Drinking Oscar Wilde

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again neither does milk. - Unknown

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Sir Winston Churchill

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille’s heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? - Stephen Wright

Beer is the answer… but I can’t remember the question. - Unknown

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver. - Jack Handey

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. - Jean Kerr

The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind. - H.L. Mencken

Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink. - Richard Burton

I can’t afford vacation, so I am just going to drink until I don’t know where I am. - Unknown

There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers. - Chelsea Handler

I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk, we go to parties. - Unknown

Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. - Homer Simpson

Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right. - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Drink! for you know not when you came, nor why; Drink! for you know not why you go, nor where. - Omar Khayyam

Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we shall die. - Imhotep

Hand me the booze and watch me get fabulous. - Unknown

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