The 44 Funniest Friendship Quotes

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What is a friend good for if not a hearty laugh?

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There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.-Linda Grayson

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

True Friends Like Octopus

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?’-A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.-Greg Tamblyn

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.-Marlene Dietrich

Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.-Unknown

You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.-Unknown

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.-Oprah Winfrey

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.-Sicilian Proverb

Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.-Otto von Bismarck

Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’-Cookie Monster

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.-Bernard Meltzer

Between friends, differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality.-W.H. Auden

One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.-Marcelene Cox

Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.-Charles Lamb

One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.-Clifton Fadiman

Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long.-Robert Staughton Lynd

You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.-Laurence J. Peter

Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.-Unknown

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.-Mark Twain

Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.-Edwin Arlington Robinson

A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body.-Jim Hayes

The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.-Mark Twain

Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.-Margaret Walker

There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.-J.K. Rowling

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.-Benjamin Franklin

The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.-Jay McInerney

I Like You Weirdo

When a woman like that whom I’ve seen so much, All of a sudden drops out of touch; Is always busy and never can, Spare you a moment, it means a man.-Alice Duer Miller

Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.-Sarah Dessen

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Good friends offer a shoulder when you need to cry. Best friends are there with a shovel to beat up who made you cry.-Unknown

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.-Ann Richards

The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn’t exist.-Aaron Machado

Best friends loan out DVDs knowing that they’ll never be seen again.-Unknown

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.-Samuel Butler

If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.-Oprah Winfrey

Never tell your friends, “I told you so” – even when you did.-Wendy Jean Smith

When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.-Diane Von Furstenberg

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