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The 44 Funniest Friendship Quotes

Tammy Lamoureux from

What is a friend good for if not a hearty laugh?

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This is a curated sub-category. Check out our full collection of friendship quotes.

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.Linda Grayson

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.Ralph Waldo Emerson

True Friends Like Octopus

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?’A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.Greg Tamblyn

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.Marlene Dietrich

Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.Unknown

You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.Unknown

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.Oprah Winfrey

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.Sicilian Proverb

Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.Otto von Bismarck

Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’Cookie Monster

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.Bernard Meltzer

Between friends, differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality.W.H. Auden

One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.Marcelene Cox

Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.Charles Lamb

One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.Clifton Fadiman

Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long.Robert Staughton Lynd

You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.Laurence J. Peter

Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.Unknown

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.Mark Twain

Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.Edwin Arlington Robinson

A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body.Jim Hayes

The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain

Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.Margaret Walker

There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.J.K. Rowling

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.Benjamin Franklin

The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.Jay McInerney

I Like You Weirdo

When a woman like that whom I’ve seen so much, All of a sudden drops out of touch; Is always busy and never can, Spare you a moment, it means a man.Alice Duer Miller

Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.Sarah Dessen

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Good friends offer a shoulder when you need to cry. Best friends are there with a shovel to beat up who made you cry.Unknown

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.Ann Richards

The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn’t exist.Aaron Machado

Best friends loan out DVDs knowing that they’ll never be seen again.Unknown

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.Samuel Butler

If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.Oprah Winfrey

Never tell your friends, “I told you so” – even when you did.Wendy Jean Smith

When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.Diane Von Furstenberg

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