If you can be inspirational and hilarious at the same time, you’re really on to something.
Some people call these “de-motivational quotes”. Well, to me they are still pretty dang motivating.
This is a curated sub-category. Check out our full collection of inspirational quotes.
“Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is! - Jeffrey Gitomer
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.-Thomas Eddison
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. - Steve Martin
“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? - George Carlin
“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.-Jack London
“If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.-Donald Trump
“Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.-Kyle Chandler
“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.-Albert Einstein
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.-A.A. Milne
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.-Unknown
“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.-Will Rogers
“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.-Mark Twain
“Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell.-Bill Copeland
“Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that. - Ellen Degeneres
“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.-Tom Lehrer
“Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.-Isaac Asimov
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.-Truman Capote
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.-Zig Ziglar
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.-Dalai Lama
“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’-Sydney Harris
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.-Lily Tomlin
“Well-behaved women seldom make history.-Laurel Thatcher Ulrich,
“If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.-Marie Osmond
“There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.-Roger Staubach
“Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.-Unknown
“I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored. - Louis C.K.
“Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye
“If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big. - Tom Hirshfield
“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. - Bill Watterson
“If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. - Frank Zappa
“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. - Unknown
“I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.-Alice Roosevelt Longworth
“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.-Voltaire
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.-Benjamin Franklin
“Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there. - Josh Billings
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. - Cathy Guisewite
“Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.-Unknown
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.-Charles Schulz
“Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.-Napoleon Hill
“Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive it isn’t. - Richard Bach
“I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess. - Cassandra Duffy
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. - Dave Barry
“Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost. - Martina Navratilova
“If you fall, I’ll always be there. - The Floor
“Focus, focus, focus! What am I, a telescope?! - Naruto Uzumaki
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - Steven Wright
