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The 50 Funniest Inspirational Quotes

Curated by:
Tammy Lamoureux from lamourfoto.com
Last updated: 04/27/15

If you can be inspirational and hilarious at the same time, you’re really on to something.

Some people call these “de-motivational quotes”. Well, to me they are still pretty dang motivating.

This is a curated sub-category. Check out our full collection of inspirational quotes.

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Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is! - Jeffrey Gitomer

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Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.-Thomas Eddison

the elevator to success

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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. - Steve Martin

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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? - George Carlin

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You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.-Jack London

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If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.-Donald Trump

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Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.-Kyle Chandler

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Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.-Albert Einstein

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People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.-A.A. Milne

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A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.-Unknown

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Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.-Will Rogers

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Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.-Mark Twain

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Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell.-Bill Copeland

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Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that. - Ellen Degeneres

bukowski quotation

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Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.-Tom Lehrer

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Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.-Isaac Asimov

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Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.-Truman Capote

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People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.-Zig Ziglar

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If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.-Dalai Lama

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When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’-Sydney Harris

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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.-Lily Tomlin

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Well-behaved women seldom make history.-Laurel Thatcher Ulrich,

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If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.-Marie Osmond

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There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.-Roger Staubach

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Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.-Unknown

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I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored. - Louis C.K.

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Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

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If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big. - Tom Hirshfield

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There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. - Bill Watterson

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If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. - Frank Zappa

witty ellen quote

Read More Witty Quotes →
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If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. - Unknown

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I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.-Alice Roosevelt Longworth

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Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.-Voltaire

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I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.-Benjamin Franklin

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Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there. - Josh Billings

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When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. - Cathy Guisewite

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Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.-Unknown

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Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.-Charles Schulz

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Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.-Napoleon Hill

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Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive it isn’t. - Richard Bach

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I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess. - Cassandra Duffy

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By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost

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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. - Dave Barry

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Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost. - Martina Navratilova

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If you fall, I’ll always be there. - The Floor

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Focus, focus, focus! What am I, a telescope?! - Naruto Uzumaki

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I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - Steven Wright

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