A lot has been said about love. Some of that has been hilarious.
This is a curated sub-category. Check out our full collection of love quotes.
“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.-Oscar Wilde
“I love you like a fat kid loves cake.-Scott Adams
“Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.-Richard Jeni
“Love is hiding who you are at all times. It’s wearing make-up to bed and going downstairs to Burger King to poop.-30 Rock
“It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.-Lucille Ball
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.-Joan Crawford
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.-Natasha Leggero
“Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.-George Carlin
“I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.-Unknown
“First love is a kind of vaccination which saves man from catching the complaint the second time.-Honore de Balzac
“I love you and it’s getting worse.-Joseph E. Morris
“You call it madness, but I call it love.-Don Byas
“Love thy neighbor — and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.-Mae West
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.-Oscar Wilde
“Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.-Woody Allen
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love-Albert Einstein
“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.-Jules Renard
“A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.-Friedrich Nietzsche
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.-Charles Schulz
“Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.-Lynda Barry
“A touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.-Plato
“A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick. A youth with his first girl makes everybody sick.-Mary Wilson
“People should fall in love with their eyes closed.-Andy Warhol
“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.-George Burns
“Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it’s just another way to bleed.-Laurell K. Hamilton
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?-Jean Illsley Clarke
“Love means nothing in tennis, but it’s everything in life.-Author unknown
“Love, I’ve come to understand is more than three words mumbled before bedtime.-Nicholas Sparks
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.-Albert Einstein
“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.-Rita Rudner
“Love is being stupid together.-Paul Valery
“Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.-W. Somerset Maugham
“You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.-Hussein Nishah
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people-Jarod Kintz
“Love is like war, easy to begin but hard to end.-Leo Buscaglia
“What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.-Pearl Bailey
“The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you.-Markus Zusak, The Book Thief
“Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.-Unknown
“No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.-Unknown
“If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.-Chuck Palahniuk
“I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.-Russell Brand
“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.-Charlie Brown
“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.-Franklin P. Jones
“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.-Lemony Snicket
“It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love one’s neighbor.-Eric Hoffer
“Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage.-Ambrose Bierce
“People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.-Bob Hope
“You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash. -Jarod Kintz
“Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.-Jerry Seinfeld
“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.-G.K. Chesterton
Related: The Funniest Relationship Quotes
“Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.-Miss Piggy
“To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone. -Jarod Kintz
